Many years ago, as part of my psychology internship, I was required to interpret the psychological profiles of a group of black men. I grew up in a culture where the emphasis was always on the perceived significant differences between white and black people. This assignment made me realize that I was out of my depth.

I went to my supervisor and told her why I could not perform this task. Her response was one of those life-changing moments that, to this day, is frozen in time for me.

She said “Look for the similarities. Don’t focus on the differences.”

I walked away from that encounter, knowing that my life had been changed irrevocably.

I have applied that same rule to so many people that I initially perceived as being different from me. I am the same as my gay and religious friends, my client on death row for murder, my schizophrenic friend, the town gossip, Nelson Mandela and Desmond Tutu. I even share similarities with a swinger and porn addict. All I have to do is look for the similarity and embrace it.

Can you imagine how rich I have become since?