Are you dreading Christmas and the requisite family gathering? Read this article and discover how our families help us improve our relationships.
I recently read a fascinating book about Henry VIII and his six wives. The author of the book states that happy families all resemble one another, while unhappy families are unhappy in their own unique ways.
And Henry VIII was very good at creating unique unhappy families. He was married six times. During an age where divorce was the last option and the divorce of a monarch was unthinkable, he divorced his first wife, had the second one beheaded, lost the third in child-birth, divorced number four, had number five beheaded and left number six widowed.
I recently attended a talk where the presenters described their upbringing to give some perspective to their product. They started the presentation by asking the audience how many people were from dysfunctional families. As you could expect, some hands went up immediately (some people like to define themselves by means of their history rather than who they really are) and other hands went up reluctantly (because we all have some skeletons in our closets).
The one presenter then said “As I expected – we are all from dysfunctional families” as if that was a given. It became clear during their presentation that their view of the world being populated by dysfunctional families impacted on everything they had personally experienced.
It reminded me again that we like to put labels on people, because it makes us feel safe. We tend to compare ourselves to other people, see their challenges in life and then see our own challenges in a far better light.
You may have heard about the woman who discovered that her husband was having an affair. They moved in circles where this happened quite often, but people were very discrete about it. However, this woman was determined not to share her husband.
She confronted her husband with the evidence, and he calmly acknowledged that he was having an affair with a particular woman. He reminded her that his friend Bob had been having an affair for years, that she was aware of it and never had an issue with it.
However, the wife would not tolerate her own husband having an affair, and of course she then threatened to divorce him if he did not end the affair immediately.
His response was “OK, you can have a divorce. You will also have your credit card taken away from you, which means you will have to get a job. You will no longer get a new car every two years or holidays on tropical islands once a year. You will not be able to buy designer clothes or get your regular beauty treatments. Would you really like a divorce?”
The wife thought about this for a while, and then said “I think our mistress is far more beautiful than Bob’s.”
On a more serious note, the reasons why families are “dysfunctional” or challenging are because they teach us things about ourselves. We choose our families before we enter this existence because our interaction with them highlights our own particular needs for spiritual growth. Somehow we allow families to get away with behaviour that we would definitely not tolerate from others. We do this because we intuitively know our families love us and will always love us no matter what. We tolerate their actions until we have learnt what we needed to learn from them, and once we understand, our love for them only becomes deeper.
Some people thrive on their badges of being from dysfunctional families. That blurs their own perceptions, but that is also part of their journeys.
I know of a couple who were both abandoned as babies. The husband was from a large family, and he was given away to an unmarried aunt who had a no children but a very strong maternal drive – so strong that she in fact emotionally abused the boy. By the age of about ten, he was claimed back by his mother. You can imagine the impact this upbringing had on him.
The wife was given to her grandparents when she was a baby, because both parents had serious health problems. She grew up thinking that her grandparents were her parents, until she was six years old. She had no contact with her biological parents and did not even know that they were alive. Then her parents simply appeared one day and claimed her back and took her home with them. Imagine the impact this had on the little girl, being taken away from a familiar environment and having to get used to two complete strangers who were now the new figures of authority in her life.
These two people then married and had a daughter. The daughter became anorexic and suicidal in her teens and nearly ruined her parents financially and emotionally with her excessive demands for things and situations that could potentially make her happy and stop her torturing herself and her parents.
The parents liked to describe the whole experience as an intervention from the Holy Spirit to help them realise that money and earthly possessions are not important. They described their daughter as a “very mature teacher” of spiritual lessons.
My view was that they were both abandoned as children, and then overcompensated with their child’s upbringing by smothering her with their version of parental love. They did everything they could to give her the opposite of the childhood they had. The daughter then rebelled by becoming anorexic and by playing on their guilt feelings and manipulating them to the hilt.
How would they react to a different view on their experiences? Would they sit up and think about it and learn even more about their journey? Would they reject a view that clashes with their view of the world and continue to miss the point? Or is this a point I want to make based on my ignorance? After all, I was not there and heard their version of the events long after they took place.
And those are the questions that each of us – at least those that do come from unhappy families- have to ask of ourselves.
Being a member of an unhappy family is a challenge because our relatives remind us time and again of our own dark sides. Because it is a challenge, we tend to prefer the least painful perspective on the issue.
How would each of us react to a view of our lives that focuses on the pain? Would we understand that the healing will only take place once we experience an equal amount of pain and pleasure, and achieve a balanced perspective on our experiences?
Confronting our own dark side is a brave act. We often choose to gloss over it, or wear it as a “badge of injury” rather than deal with it.
Once we start to search for the advantages in the experiences that shaped us, we gain an understanding of where and how it fits into the Master Plan. We see that every single experience has a positive and a negative side. We stop focusing on the negative side and get a balanced view. Only then can we experience gratitude and get a feeling of the immense Love that God has for us. That is the moment where our lives really begin.
And that is the moment when a dysfunctional family begins to heal and start to see and love the lighter side of one another.
Love and Light
Elsabe
If you want to discover why you have such a challenging family relationship and how you can deal with it, click on the links below to obtain your FREE e-book How Do I Get Out Of This Relationship? worth £6.97 AND A FREE copy of the video Why relationships Never Fail worth £8.87
If you want to finally put a destructive family relationship behind you and get on with your life, then click on the link below to invest in the e-book It’s Over! Move On And Feel Good About Yourself by Elsabe Smit, The Intuition Coach
Remember the last time you did something and succeeded purely based on your willpower? Can you remember what hard work it was? You had to focus very hard and harness a lot of energy. You had to be single-minded and dedicated.
Can you remember how you felt when you reached your goal? There was not only elation, but also exhaustion, because it was hard work. You also had the satisfaction of knowing that you had created the outcome. All this happened because you had used your willpower.
Some people give that willpower away. They enter into a relationship (at work, personal, friendship) with a person who makes choices on their behalf. They get bullied or dragged into directions that they know are not right for them. They work very hard to pacify the keeper of their willpower, and that drains their energy. At the same time they make half-hearted attempts to get their willpower back to where it belongs – in their own control.
When you do not understand that you have handed your willpower over to another person, you feel like a victim, exhausted and not in control. You use the same amount of energy you would use if you were the keeper of your willpower, but you go in the wrong direction for the wrong reasons. This is physically and emotionally painful.
Understanding what you have done is the first step towards cutting the ties with the keeper of your willpower. Of course this can be painful, but at the point where the pain is most intense, the release is also most intense and you become truly free. And your willpower returns where it belongs – to you, the rightful owner.
Because willpower is seated in the solar plexus, returning your willpower to its rightful place also means the end of various digestive issues.
Even if you have lost temporary custody of your willpower, it is still yours and you can reclaim it any time.
Love and Light
Elsabe
If you have given away your willpower and now want to end that relationship and get your life back, click on the links below to obtain your FREE e-book How Do I Get Out Of This Relationship? worth £6.97
I love travelling. I enjoy the butterflies and anticipation of getting on a plane. I get excited about the idea of arriving and having to find my way, especially when I do not understand the language and the country is different.
But I also enjoy discovering beauty and interesting history near my house. England is one of those countries where even the mundane probably has a history of one or more centuries. And like other European countries, they are proud of their history and happy to display their knowledge to anyone who wants to listen.
But what has all this to do with a spiritual journey, you might ask? Everything.
A spiritual journey is much more than packing your bags to visit a holy place. There are people who go to a graveyard regularly to talk to those that are buried. Other people visit a spa and get pampered from head to toe. Others simply sit in a garden and regain their balance. Then there are people who survive trauma such as bereavement, divorce, rape, torture, redundancy, and so on, and become an inspiration to others. And others go shopping to release their stress.
How do these journeys qualify as spiritual journeys?
The tarot major arcana describe our journey through life. We enter life as innocent fools, and have various experiences that cover every aspect of life. We choose to have a particular slant, such as emotions, intellect, money, or faith. We also choose a life theme, such as Love, Justice, Judgement, Temperance or any combination of the major arcana.
People like to think of themselves as unique, because we are all unique. Each one of us chooses a different combination of aspects that we want to explore in our lives. Then we get born.
Our spiritual journey on earth commence when we choose to inhabit a body and those cells start to multiply and divide after conception. From that moment we are destined to have a spiritual journey on earth. When we also choose the experience of a journey such as a pilgrimage or hajj or any other form, the journey is more intense during that time, because of our focus.
Does this mean a still-born or aborted baby does not have a spiritual journey? No. They have their own journey which coincides with the mother’s journey, and with the journeys of everyone that are affected by them. When the medical doctor or nurse or chaplain or social worker deals with the consequences of death at any stage, they do so because they chose to explore matters such as life and death as part of their own lives. They cannot do so unless other souls are willing to participate in these journeys.
We have conflict in our lives and it gets resolved. We have troublesome relationships and grow from them. We doubt ourselves and find our confidence. We have traumatic experiences and recover from them. We feel the intense joy of being loved and we have our senses stimulated by nature. All of these happen for a reason.
Every single experience we have in life is planned as part of our spiritual journeys.
Do we have to be spiritually aware to gain from these experiences? No. Where a person claims to be an atheist, they are still able to love and be loved. You can be very religious and still experience intense gratitude or have out-of-body experiences.
You may not want to put a label of spirituality on any experience you have, or you may shy away from describing anything in your life as spiritual, but that does not make anyone less spiritual.
On the other hand, going on a pilgrimage of any kind does not make you more spiritual either. You may raise your awareness by doing a consciously spiritual journey, but when you started out in life you were on a spiritual journey, just like the person who chose not to do a pilgrimage.
And when we leave this world, we will continue on our spiritual journey, because it is an eternal journey regardless of what you believe about any life after this.
If you have already packed for your journey, take my advice. Leave half of your stuff behind, so that you can make space for new discoveries. If you insist on travelling with a full suitcase, expect your body to protest. Expect physical illness and exhaustion. If you are afraid of your physical journey, your body will protest, but that is only the symptom of your fear of a spiritual journey. And there is nothing you can do to avoid your spiritual journey – you can not even die, because the journey continues after your death.
If you only pack half your stuff, expect to bring back not only gratitude and joy, but also new challenges – that is proof that you are alive and still on your journey.
Love and Light
Elsabe
PS: I am The Intuition Coach. I help people who lack clarity, vision and purpose to remove their blocks, discover their intuition and achieve their goals. What is consuming all your energy? Visit www.TheIntuitionCoach.com for a FREE New Start Quiz.
I recently shared a meal with some acquaintances. The conversation turned to how relationships start. Someone explained, to much laughter from the group, how she tried everything to get away, but eventually realised that someone was Mr Right and perfect for her. That moment changed her life.
One of the men nodded, and agreed that one just know when someone is right. He had the same feeling when he met his girlfriend a few months before.
I knew the man was married, but in England there is this weird situation where you get divorced in stages – like cutting off the tail of a dog bit by bit, so that it will hurt less? And from what I can gather British people generally do not wait for the process to end before they move on to a different relationship.
When I asked sympathetically how long the man had been separated from his wife, he said no, he is happily married. He then told me that in the UK it is “traditional” for a man to have a mistress. He also said that his wife was aware of his “lady friends” but she has no idea how intimate these “friendships” are, and that kept them both happy.
That did not really surprise me. A few months after I had moved to the UK, I went to visit a lady in her 80’s when she was recovering in hospital after an operation. We were talking about the news of the day, which had something to do with the accident in which princess Diana died. I must have said something about Diana (I cannot remember the entire conversation) but that triggered a tirade against Diana because “she did not know her place, she was not royal, and she complained about nothing and embarrassed the royal family, because a man, and especially a prince, is fully entitled to his ‘bit on the side’”.
I was astonished at the time, not so much about what the old lady said, but because I got to know her as a very Christian person and a staunch supporter of the Church of England. But then the Church of England has its roots in the actions of King Henry VIII who had a wandering eye and believed that his rules were the only rules, especially when it came to women.
I was not quite sure what to think about this man who seems to be an intelligent, decent man who gets on well with everybody. You would think that he is a predator who finds vulnerable women, tells them that he is married and intends to remain so, and then has a relationship with them that obviously excludes children and many other means of sharing a life. Those women know that they cannot make any claim on his time or how he lives his life, because society will turn against the women as being home-wreckers. Few people will question the motives of a happily married man.
I am not convinced that his wife really knows nothing about these other women (it turned out there were two of them at the time, and he really has to juggle his social schedule to get round to everyone and ensure that he is not discovered).
Is this about morality? That is what most people would think.
However, I am convinced that it is about balance. The husband finds other women because he is missing some balance in his life. He does not have much in common with his wife (I overheard conversations where he was perfectly civil and friendly with her, but he could not remember which day of the week she has a half-day job). This does not matter to him because by the time he gets home she is there, waiting for him. With his mistresses, on the other hand, he always knows where they are – and this is important because he does not want them to run into each other or into his wife. That is balance.
Where is the balance for the wife? She is financially dependent on her husband. If she leaves him, she will have to find a job to maintain herself. If she values having loads of free time without her husband (that may even include a relationship with another man) and being maintained by a man, then she is satisfied. However, this will only be the position when she values those things above fidelity and honesty.
Where is the balance for the mistress? Her need for sex is satisfied, and she has the excitement of an illicit relationship as well as companionship. At the same time she has an admirer that is not there all the time, which gives her freedom. As long as these values outrank the values of for example having children or having a relationship based on trust, then she is happy.
Most often when a relationship comes to an end, it is because the values of the two partners clash. Sometimes people get into a relationship with clashing values, and they quickly move from infatuation to resentment and the end of the relationship. Other times people with different values have a relationship, and they grow and learn from one another.
When you look at the satisfaction of values in a marriage rather than at the document that makes it a marriage, the picture looks different. And the same holds for other relationships like employment or friendship as well.
Next time I will withhold my judgment and rather add to my understanding.
Love and Light
Elsabe
If you have decided to end your relationship because of an affair and you are not sure how to go about it, click on the links below to obtain your FREE e-book How Do I Get Out Of This Relationship? worth £6.97 AND a FREE copy of the video Why relationships Never Fail worth £8.87
If you are serious about ending your relationship and getting on with your life, click on the link below to invest in the e-book It’s Over! Move On And Feel Good About Yourself by Elsabe Smit, The Intuition Coach
When a person dies we go through the stages of grieving. What is that grief, and what are we sad about?
Assume that we do believe in eternal life. That means when a person dies, they leave their body behind and continue to live in a different form – a form that some of us recognize as the person’s ethereal body. This happens because we are energy, and energy cannot be destroyed.
If the person continues to exist, but only in a different form, why do we get so sad about somebody dying? What exactly is it that we lose?
Death reminds us of our own mortality, and when we have unfinished business here, we feel pressure to get on with our own business. If we do not understand that we have all the time that is required to fulfill our purpose here, we will be sad.
Death also means that we will experience our relationship with the deceased person in a different way. We will no longer be able to talk to the person (or ignore the person if that is what we did when they were still alive). Thoughts of that person will fill our minds. Sometimes we will have loving conversations with the person, and at other times we will have nightmares about the person.
People come to this earth and inhabit their bodies because they have a purpose. They have specific lessons to learn, and to teach to others. All of us are here to learn and to teach.
When we no longer have anything to learn, the time comes when we leave our bodies behind. We can still continue to teach others even after we had left our bodies. We do that by means of those conversations in our minds.
Once a person has left their body behind, they are in a state of Love, regardless of the nature of the earthly lives they had lived. That is why we have such loving experiences with our deceased loved ones.
But what if we have these nightmares and fears that continue after the person has passed on? If we do not understand this change, namely that the deceased person is in a state of Love, we continue to hold on to our own fears until we are able to resolve them.
Grieving is also about loss. We believe that once a person has passed on, we have lost everything we had with that person. We believe that we have lost a loving look, memories of good times together, and all the other things we wanted to hold on to.
This might sound strange, but death is not about loss, because we never lose anything. The Universe is in complete balance. We keep everything for ever, and we need to find those things elsewhere. For example, after many years of marriage you lose the companionship of a loving partner. At the same time a friend supports you and a rich friendship takes the place of that companionship. Or you become more spiritually aware and continue the relationship with your partner, but in a spiritual way.
If death is not about loss, what is it about? Death is about re-assessing what we have, and about finding the balance again in a perfect Universe. The balance is there. When a person departs, we temporarily forget about the balance. We cry because we experience a sense of loss. Over time we regain our balance and we understand that we have lost nothing.
This applies to all losses and all grieving. Do you grieve about the loss of a friend? Did you as a result of the loss of the friendship gain new friends, which restored the balance? Do you grieve about the loss of a child? Have you, as a result of that, found other people to care for, maybe people who also lost children?
But some of you say no, this is not true for me. I have felt the pain of that loss and it will remain with me forever. That is your choice. If you want to spend the rest of your life here cherishing the loss, you can do that. If you want to find out how the balance in your life has been restored, it will become clear to you very quickly.
When you are able and willing to understand what it is that you have lost and gained, you can move on and find that inner peace. When you choose to define yourself for the rest of your life in terms of your loss, the rest of your life will be off balance. The world will move on regardless of how you define yourself, and you are part of the world. Do you really want to live the rest of your life mourning something that you have not lost?
Love and Light
Elsabe
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Are you in a violent, controlling, co-dependent or abusive relationship, or recovering from such a relationship? Read this article and discover why we have abusive relationships and how to recover from them.
Some people are real “suckers for punishment” – like those women who keep going back to partners that abuse them physically and verbally. And there are men as well that stay with abusive partners, or people that stay in jobs or in friendships where they are bullied.
No, I am not judging them. I also have a lot of empathy for them, because it took me years to shake off two abusive relationships, many destructive work environments and some feel-bad friendships, even after I had recognized what was happening. I was also a “sucker for punishment”.
In this case there is more truth in that expression, “sucker for punishment“, than we may realize.
We are all One and part of the same perfect diamond that is called God – or any other name that you know Him/Her by. All of us are required to form this perfect diamond, and the diamond would be flawed if any one of us is different or missing. Abusers also form part of the same diamond, and they are also part of our Oneness.
When we are in any type of relationship with a person, we have an additional bond with that person – over and above the one we have with all humanity. Imagine that bond to be like a very strong silver cord that ties two people together. That cord exists between the abuser and the abused, just like it exists between two married people that have been in a happy relationship for forty or more years.
We enter into relationships because we know intuitively that we need the other person to learn important things about ourselves, and to help us get a balance in ourselves that we would otherwise miss.
Why would anyone willingly enter into an abusive relationship? Even when people close to you warn you of what they can see but you cannot? And why would anyone stay in that relationship even when their physical and emotional safety is on line?
Because we are “suckers for punishment”. That silver cord is firmly in place, and it literally sucks us back to the other person until we either realize that we no longer need them and move on, or until there is an incident that weighs more than the pull from that cord, for example when our lives are threatened.
That cord is based in the solar plexus chakra, where our will power is seated. All the time while the cord is in place and we stay in an abusive relationship, we hand our own personal power over to the other person.
When the solar plexus chakra is open and healthy, we understand that we are in charge of our own lives and that we can make our own decisions. We then contribute to a relationship in equal measures, and we understand that we are in the first place individuals, and in the second place part of a relationship.
When the solar plexus chakra is blocked and not healthy, we often believe that we are powerless and that we just have to suffer the punishment that is meted out to us by our partners – or even by work colleagues or other family members that abuse us. The silver cord ties us to those people as well and not just to partners in a love relationship.
That is why people tend to stay in an abusive relationship for long times, and why they often go back even when they do get the courage to move out. They are pulled back by this cord that ties them to the abuser, because physical distance from an abuser does not change the belief that they are powerless. Physical distance does not stop them handing their power over to the abuser, because physical distance is a man-made concept and not real. That silver cord is real.
Once the change happens in the person and he/she starts to understand that they have a personal power and they take that power back, the solar plexus chakra starts to function normally. Then the person gets the courage to leave the relationship. This could mean getting a divorce, changing jobs if the abuser is a work colleague, or breaking off ties – yes, that is literally what happens – with an abusive friend or family member.
Sometimes that realization of having personal power takes too long, and we are forcibly removed from the situation, for example we face the wrong end of a fire-arm and flee to safety, and that gives us the courage to stay away from the abuser and heal the solar plexus chakra. Or we get dismissed from a job and discover that we are better off in a different job. Even then, it could take years to find our balance again.
The question is: why is this kind of information not available to us when we most need it? Why is the understanding and the healing not available much earlier?
I suppose that is where our karma comes in – we need the experiences to find a balance with previous experiences. We choose our lives and our experiences, and at times it is hard to remember that all our experiences and our entire lives are perfect for our purpose in this life.
Love and Light
Elsabe
If you are struggling to put an abusive relationship behind you, click on the links below to obtain your
Have you ever had a really intense dream about a person? Have you noticed that such a dream is shorter and more intense than any other dream? And that the dream often contains a truth or a solution to a problem that you may not be able to resolve when you are awake?
For example, a woman had a really bad relationship with a man and managed to break away from him. However, for many years after the end of the relationship she would still get nightmares about the man and wake up in a sweat. This would indicate that the relationship is not finished. The torture would continue in a different dimension until either or both people are ready to end the relationship and look back with gratitude at how the relationship has shaped them to become the people they are.
Another example would be the parent who is estranged from a child for reasons that are out of their hands. No matter why the situation occurs, a parent will never stop loving that child and reaching out to the child. Then the parent dreams about the child visiting in a dream, and the dream is intensely sweet and comforting – unlike the reality when they are awake. Often the parent would wake up and feel the estrangement even more intensely. However, they would miss the point that the dream actually indicated a resolution of the estrangement, and that the child recognized some truth that is above and beyond the realities of the strife.
Does this mean the parent must rush in “where angels fear to tread”? No, on the contrary. The parent should rather accept that there is a change in the feelings of the child, and therefore in the situation. Then the parent should with Love and anticipation wait for the child to confirm this change, no matter how long it takes. Of course the parent should also be aware of their own emotions regarding the child, and work on resolving those emotions.
On a level that matters we ignore the constraints of strained relationships and actions that display a lack of Love. People can pretend to do and say what is alien to their nature, but their true nature always lurks just below the surface. No matter how much we pretend the opposite, we cannot put boundaries on our true nature of Love. If we do not display that true nature when we are awake, it comes out in our dreams.
When you dream about a person you know, that dream usually indicates an intense emotion around that person that you would not recognize or choose to ignore when you are awake. The emotion will not go away until it is resolved. It is important to know that such a dream is not about the person you dream about, but rather about your unresolved emotions related to that person.
If the emotion is expressed in a dream, it normally means that the emotion is already causing some energy blockage somewhere in your body, and your unconscious says that you will do yourself a massive favour by dealing with the emotion rather than deny it. If you continue to deny your emotion, then the energy blockage will remain and eventually turn into dis-ease.
When you have such an intensely emotional dream about a person you do not know, the dream represents a longing that you often choose to deny in your waking time, because you find it embarrassing or you believe that it will not happen because it is not possible.
Such a dream tells you that not only is it OK to dream about that longing, but that it is possible for it to become real, and that you should bring that dream into your waking time and make it a reality. After all, dreams and dreaming are significant parts of the creation process. If anything stands in the way of your dreams becoming reality, then you should not say “It is impossible”, but rather remove the obstacle and see how the impossible turns into the possible.
Love and Light
Elsabe
PS: I am The Intuition Coach. I help people who lack clarity, vision and purpose to remove their blocks, discover their intuition and achieve their goals. What is consuming all your energy? Visit www.TheIntuitionCoach.com for a FREE New Start Quiz.
Why is it that some women find it so difficult to let go of a man who is not interested in a relationship with them?
I often speak to women who have their eye on a particular man who is not responsive. These women will do anything to get the man to respond to them. They will think about him all the time, and even send him long emails and regular text messages. When they get no response or a non-committal response, they look for ways to make the man love them.
Most of the time these women don’t want to hear that the man is not interested in a relationship with them – and often not even in a friendship.
And the poor man cannot run away fast or far enough. Often their only “sin” was a friendly greeting or an innocent compliment.
When a man says “you look beautiful today”, it is not a marriage proposal. It is also not the beginning of a relationship. It is often not even interest in you as a potential partner. It is just a bit of flattery.
When a woman regards the most insignificant attention from a man as the beginning of something serious, that woman needs to ask herself why she so desperately needs attention and confirmation from someone else to establish her self-worth.
Even in our enlightened age men don’t like to be the prey. A small handful of men are egotistic enough to enjoy the attention, but even these men feel crowded soon enough.
In one instance a woman told me that she knew the man was going to marry her, because even though they had not had contact for over ten years, she is convinced of their “spiritual connection”.
I have no doubt that such a “spiritual connection” exists between these women and the men who spend much energy evading them.
Sadly the connection is one-sided – the woman fixates on the man and gets all her energy from him. This must leave the man tired for no obvious reason, because he may not be consciously aware of the woman using him as a source of energy.
I always ensure that any guidance I give to clients is honest and responsible. It is immensely frustrating to deal with clients who do not hear a word I am saying, and who want to blame me for not helping them to get any interest from the man.
If such clients then leave me because I did not tell them what they wanted to hear, I count my blessings. To me it means that they will not use me as a source of energy, and I can help other people.
If a woman needs to get her energy from another person, she also needs to work on her self-belief. We all are able to generate our own energy and share it with others. Where a woman believes that she is not capable of generating her own energy, she often suppresses the energy that she has. This makes her less creative, and such energy blockages can result in dis-ease of the female reproductive systems.
I have seen countless instances where such women discovered their own strength outside of a relationship and then had a lovely relationship with a man who wanted to be with them. such an equal partnership works far better than a predator=prey situation which eventually results in energy blockages in both partners.
If you are waiting for a specific man to show some fleeting interest in you again, my recommendation is to forget him, and find an interesting hobby to spend your time and energy on.
Before you know it you will be pursued and wooed for the interesting person you are, rather than be avoided for the desperate person you were.
Have you noticed how we all live in our own little bubbles? Some people have big, accommodating bubbles, while others have tiny, tight-fitting bubbles of awareness.
Many years ago, when I booked my first overseas holiday, I received the tickets from the travel agency. I went back to show them the discrepancies – for example, a flight from London to New York takes seven hours, but the difference between the departure time and arrival time was only four hours.
Now if you live in a country like Russia or the United States or England, you will probably have a good laugh at this, but having lived in South Africa all my life and not having travelled internationally until that time, I was not aware of time zones and clocks changing. On that day I left the travel agency and went to the library for some research.
When I later left the library my own little bubble was bigger – because I understood that time is a fluid commodity that we manipulate as we please. In South Africa 3 am means three o’clock in the morning- no matter where you are in the country or which TV station you tune in to or what day of the year it is. Now that I live in England, 3 am means either 4 am or 5 am South African time, depending on the time of the year. Yes, I am stating the bleeding obvious, but it only becomes the bleeding obvious after you have broken down a boundary in your knowledge and thought processes and allowed this knowledge to become obvious.
And if you did have a laugh about my experience, I will ask you to have a five-minute conversation with me in at least one language that is not your mother tongue. Or convince me that the first time you saw “line fish” on a menu in a restaurant, you knew exactly what it meant and did not need to ask. What have you experienced in your life that expanded your little bubble?
Every time we have a difference with someone, the disagreement happens because they want us to expand our own bubble to include their experiences and ideas, while we resist and refuse to make space. When you do show courage and put yourself in the shoes of the other person, you start to notice that there is more than one side to every argument, and that your side is right for you, but it is not the only side.
Of course it is far more comfortable to ensure that your awareness bubble is soundproof, and to blame other people for not acting the way you would act. But if that is what you normally do, you will also have noticed that your bubble is slowly getting tighter and more uncomfortable. The tighter your bubble is, the more the energy flow through your body is hindered, and the more your body expresses dis-ease. We are here to become aware of these artificial and selfish boundaries, and to break them down one after the other.
With each boundary that we break down, we become more tolerant and we form more quantums of pure light in our bodies. Our general awareness increases and we live longer, healthier lives with less stress. That is the purpose of life.
Love and Light
Elsabe
PS: I am The Intuition Coach. I help people who lack clarity, vision and purpose to remove their blocks, discover their intuition and achieve their goals. What is consuming all your energy? Visit www.TheIntuitionCoach.com for a FREE New Start Quiz.
This is from Dr John Demartini’s Facebook profile today: “Instead of imagining your life with the so-called perfect kids, lover, spouse, boss, employees, parents, friends and so on, learn to appreciate each of the people in your life for what they bring to you. Effective relationships happen when each person seeks to understand and honor the other just as he or she is.”
With the village covered in snow and the roads becoming challenging. it is so easy to get tense and snap at people for no particular reason. I chose to get my angels as co-drivers, and woke up with the resolution to put a smile on the face of every person I see today. This is one of the ways in which I bring natural healing to the world.
With some people this is a challenge, but so far I have managed with everyone, because we all respond to the warmth of other people. Inner healing starts with how we see the world, and that determines how the world sees us.
Have you put a smile on anyone’s face today?
Love and Light
Elsabe
PS: I am The Intuition Coach. I help people who lack clarity, vision and purpose to remove their blocks, discover their intuition and achieve their goals. What is consuming all your energy? Visit www.TheIntuitionCoach.com for a FREE New Start Quiz.
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