On Mistresses and Morals 1
25th Jan 2009
Hello lovely people
I recently shared a meal with some acquaintances. The conversation turned to how relationships start. Someone explained, to much laughter from the group, how she tried everything to get away, but eventually realised that someone was Mr Right and perfect for her. That moment changed her life.
One of the men nodded, and agreed that one just know when someone is right. He had the same feeling when he met his girlfriend a few months before.
I knew the man was married, but in England there is this weird situation where you get divorced in stages – like cutting off the tail of a dog bit by bit, so that it will hurt less? And form what I can gather British people generally do not wait for the process to end before they move on to a different relationship.
When I asked sympathetically how long the man had been separated from his wife, he said no, he is happily married. He then told me that in the UK it is “traditional” for a man to have a mistress. He also said that his wife was aware of his “lady friends” but she has no idea how intimate these “friendships” are, and that kept them both happy.
That did not really surprise me. A few months after I moved to the UK, I went to visit a lady in her 80’s when she was recovering in hospital after an operation. We were talking about the news of the day, which had something to do with the accident in which princess Diana died. I must have said something about Diana (I cannot remember the entire conversation) but that triggered a tirade against Diana because “she did not know her place, she was not royal, and she complained about nothing and embarrassed the royal family, because a man, and especially a prince, is fully entitled to his ‘bit on the side’”.
I was astonished at the time, not so much about what the old lady said, but because I got to know her as a very Christian person and a staunch supporter of the Church of England. But then the Church of England has its roots in the actions of King Henry VIII who had a wandering eye and believed that his rules were the only rules, especially when it came to women.
I was not quite sure what to think about this man that seems to be an intelligent, decent man who gets on well with everybody. You would think that he is a predator that finds vulnerable women, tells them that he is married and intends to remain so, and then has a relationship with them that obviously excludes children and many other means of sharing a life. Those women know that they cannot make any claim on his time or how he lives his life, because society will turn against the women as being home-wreckers. Few people will question the motives of a happily married man.
I am not convinced that his wife really knows nothing about these other women (it turned out there were two of them at the time, and he really has to juggle his social schedule to get round to everyone and ensure that he is not discovered).
To be continued.
If you would like to receive fascinating information on the holidays of various faiths and religions that will not be published on the blog, please subscribe to my email list on the blog. Please do this even if you already receive blog updates by email, because the email list is a separate list.
Please leave a comment if you feel inspired.
Love and Light
Elsabe
