OK, I have noticed that abusers use a lot of manipulation and like to trade their energy with stronger more positive people so they can feed of them. They use abuse to feed and suck other people’s energy because they are not feeding themselves with their own self-esteem. The abusive behaviour brings the abused person down whilst the abuser get a pay-off to their ego and their energy goes up.

Solar-plexus power is certainly the issue and abusers like to put themselves in a dominating position in relation to the people they are abusing because secretly inside they feel powerless. They like to present a powerful image to the world that is opposite to their inner reality as a way to compensate for their inner lack.

I was involved in an abusive relationship and I noticed that the person I was involved with would steal my energy from me in all kinds of ways, verbally and in his behavior towards me. I kept myself involved in the situation because I was being manipulated and didn’t realise it at the time. He was feeding from my energetic investment in his situation and bad behaviour. My abuser was wearing all kinds of masks for show so I wouldn’t see the reality that he was desperate and sucking me and that he was in reality, a much weaker person than me. He needed to dominate and control me to appear and to convince himself he was the strong one. I didn’t realise at the time that the most loving thing for both of us was for me to emotionally detach from him. I was amazed to see how the situation transformed for the better when I did finally take back all my emotional energy and was able to love this person by loving myself first. He then had no choice but to deal with his own shadow self which he was denying – a rocky time indeed! He then had to acknowledge and deal with the painful abuse he experienced in his childhood that led him to feel powerless in the first place. I started to feel great again and it took us both to new heights of self-esteem and empowerment.

In summary then I have realised that relationships are all about energy exchange between people and the quality of the energies being exchanged should certainly be noticed to maintain strength, personal empowerment and good strong solar-plexus energy in all our relationships