On Mistresses and Morals 2

28th Jan 2009



Hello lovely people

Is this about morality?  That is what most people would think.

However, I am convinced that it is about balance.  The husband finds other women because he is missing some balance in his life.  He does not have much in common with his wife (I overheard conversations where he was perfectly civil and friendly with her, but he could not remember which day of the week she has a half-day job).  This does not matter to him because by the time he gets home she is there, waiting for him.  With his mistresses, on the other hand, he always knows where they are – and this is important because he does not want them to run into each other or into his wife.  That is balance.

Where is the balance for the wife?  She is financially dependent on her husband.  If she leaves him, she will have to find a job to maintain herself.  If she values having loads of free time without her husband (that may even include a relationship with another man) and being maintained by a man, then she is satisfied.  However, this will only be the position when she values those things above fidelity and honesty.

Where is the balance for the mistress?  Her need for sex is satisfied, and she has the excitement of an illicit relationship as well as companionship.  At the same time she has an admirer that is not there all the time, which gives her freedom.  As long as these values outrank the values of for example having children or having a relationship based on trust, then she is happy.

Most often when a relationship comes to an end, it is because the values of the two partners clash.  Sometimes people get into a relationship with clashing values, and they quickly move from infatuation to resentment and the end of the relationship.  Other times people with different values have a relationship, and they grow and learn from one another.

When you look at the satisfaction of values in a marriage rather than at the document that makes it a marriage, the picture looks different.  And the same holds for other relationships like employment or friendship as well.

Next time I will withhold my judgement and rather add to my understanding.

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Love and Light
Elsabe


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On Mistresses and Morals 1

25th Jan 2009



Hello lovely people

I recently shared a meal with some acquaintances.  The conversation turned to how relationships start.  Someone explained, to much laughter from the group, how she tried everything to get away, but eventually realised that someone was Mr Right and perfect for her.  That moment changed her life.

One of the men nodded, and agreed that one just know when someone is right.  He had the same feeling when he met his girlfriend a few months before.

I knew the man was married, but in England there is this weird situation where you get divorced in stages – like cutting off the tail of a dog bit by bit, so that it will hurt less?  And form what I can gather British people generally do not wait for the process to end before they move on to a different relationship.

When I asked sympathetically how long the man had been separated from his wife, he said no, he is happily married.  He then told me that in the UK it is “traditional” for a man to have a mistress.  He also said that his wife was aware of his “lady friends” but she has no idea how intimate these “friendships” are, and that kept them both happy.

That did not really surprise me.  A few months after I moved to the UK, I went to visit a lady in her 80’s when she was recovering in hospital after an operation.  We were talking about the news of the day, which had something to do with the accident in which princess Diana died.  I must have said something about Diana (I cannot remember the entire conversation) but that triggered a tirade against Diana because “she did not know her place, she was not royal, and she complained about nothing and embarrassed the royal family, because a man, and especially a prince, is fully entitled to his ‘bit on the side’”.

I was astonished at the time, not so much about what the old lady said, but because I got to know her as a very Christian person and a staunch supporter of the Church of England.  But then the Church of England has its roots in the actions of King Henry VIII who had a wandering eye and believed that his rules were the only rules, especially when it came to women.

I was not quite sure what to think about this man that seems to be an intelligent, decent man who gets on well with everybody.  You would think that he is a predator that finds vulnerable women, tells them that he is married and intends to remain so, and then has a relationship with them that obviously excludes children and many other means of sharing a life.  Those women know that they cannot make any claim on his time or how he lives his life, because society will turn against the women as being home-wreckers.  Few people will question the motives of a happily married man.

I am not convinced that his wife really knows nothing about these other women (it turned out there were two of them at the time, and he really has to juggle his social schedule to get round to everyone and ensure that he is not discovered).

To be continued.

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Love and Light
Elsabe


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I always get the perfect parking space

21st Jan 2009



Hello lovely people

I want to talk today about something that we tend to take for granted when it suits us, but we disbelieve when we are made aware of us.

I am referring to the amazing ability we have to know what will happen to us before it happens.  Sometimes we have as little as five seconds prior notice, and other times we have as much prior notice as we decide we want.

For example, you think of someone and the phone rings and the caller is the person you have been thinking about.  Or for a few days you keep thinking of a person you have not been in contact with, and “out of the blue” you get an email or a phone call from this person, or you bump into them at the supermarket.

We have all had experiences where we struggled with a problem and went to sleep and woke up with the answer, or where we have a sudden thought from “nowhere” that reminds us of an appointment that we had forgotten.  Where do these thoughts come from?

And we have all met people that we disliked even before we were introduced to them, for no obvious reason – or the opposite, where we felt an attraction to a complete stranger like a fellow commuter or a person from a group that we would not normally mix with, and became friends with that person.

In all those instances we are dealing with the same source – what I like to describe as the quantum soup of the subconscious.

The subconscious is the source of all our thoughts and actions.  We can imagine it as being a massive store room that contains all that ever was, is and will be.  We take from that storeroom all the time, use what we need and put back into storage.

Various people, from lottery winners to rape victims, have claimed that they “had always known” that they would have the experience.  How did they know?  Simple.  They are aware of the quantum vacuum and they allow experiences from there to materialize and then they live those experiences.

But tell those same people that have all these experiences to visualise a parking space next time they go shopping, and most of them will say they cannot do it.  Because suddenly you require them to do consciously what they do unconsciously all the time.

We have continuous access to our subconscious, and we use it all the time.  By the time an idea forms in our minds, that idea have been retrieved form the subconscious and approved by the brain, and is ready fo face the world.

When we get ideas from “nowhere” or from “out of the blue” we simply access our subconscious without even being aware of it – much like stumbling out of bed after a deep sleep, making coffee, and then wondering where the coffee came from once we are awake.

People that are aware of this process, consciously tap into their subconscious and retrieve at will what they require to achieve amazing things in their lives.

You can practice using this ability consciously by starting with the simple exercise of “ordering” a parking space when you leave home, or by “scanning” a large parking area to find the one elusive parking space that everyone else seems to miss.  Of course a large part of the success of this is that you need to understand with your brain that it is possible, and also believe with your heart and soul.  If you cannot do that, you have too many fears and preconceived ideas in the way.

I know there are people who read this and say it is not possible.  As the saying goes, for those that do not believe no proof will be adequate, and for those that do believe, no proof is necessary.

I am not here to convince you that there is more to life than this world.  You decide for yourself.  What I do know is that if we both want parking at the same place and you have doubts, I will get the parking space.  Sorry!

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Love and Light
Elsabe


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Returning to the fold 2

18th Jan 2009



Hello lovely people

I can still go back to the thought of “the rude new lady”, but suddenly it is not that easy.  My new thought is about “Lynne with the lovely eyes”, and this thought feels much better.

Every time I now try to think about “the rude lady” I feel a physical reaction in my body that is not pleasant.  However, when I think of Lynne with the lovely eyes, I feel a different, far more pleasant physical sensation

We do this every day without even being conscious of our thoughts.

The power of this is that when we become conscious of this process, we can immediately identify a thought that does not resonate with our selves.  We can then stop and examine that thought, and replace it with another thought that does resonate with our selves.

Of course with the awareness of the power of our thoughts comes awareness of our selves.

We have all at some stage been involved in an argument where we said things in the heat of the moment and really felt good about winning the argument by being the most hurtful party, only to cringe the next day when we remember what we had said.

Have you ever been involved in some activities with people that at the time felt very good (often under the influence of alcohol and with youthful exuberance), like mercilessly teasing or even bullying other people?  And the next day you are so embarrassed about your behaviour that you do not even want to associate with your friends, because they remind you of your moments of weakness.

When we become aware of our thoughts and how positive thoughts resonate with us while negative thoughts trigger feelings of discomfort, it becomes easier to immediately replace negative thoughts with positive thoughts.

Over time it becomes easier to ensure the most recent thought is one that resonates with us and reflects our true loving selves.

While we are in the habit of resonating negative thoughts without an awareness of the impact on our bodies, we feel that replacing those thoughts with positive thoughts is a bit of a strain.  However, over a period of time, thinking the positive thoughts becomes practice, and we then try to avoid the negative thoughts.

This is like learning to play the piano.  When you focus on the white keys, you manage to play reasonably well.  However, when you really make an effort to use the black keys as well, suddenly there is a different, richer, more complete sound that you can control at will.  When you reach this level of mastery, playing on the white keys only sounds hollow.

It is possible for us to master our thoughts.  The negative thoughts will leave kicking and screaming, but they will leave, if that is what we want for ourselves.

If you would like to receive fascinating information on the holidays of various faiths and religions that will not be published on the blog, please subscribe to my email list on the blog.  Please do this even if you already receive blog updates by email, because the email list is a separate list.

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Love and Light
Elsabe


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Returning to the fold 1

5th Jan 2009



Hello lovely people

I am fascinated by how the mind and brain works and how our thought processes are shaped.  How do we grow new habits?  How do we change our thought processes?

I read an analogy the other day that made a lot of sense to me.

The author compared our minds to a piece of paper that is folded.  Try this:  fold a piece of paper, then fold it again.  Then put the piece of paper down.  When you pick it up, the easiest fold to reach is the most recent one.

Our thoughts are the same.  Whenever we have a new thought, our minds return to the most recent thought.

This is an incredibly powerful piece of information.

Here is another fact.  Our minds and bodies are by default tuned to positive thoughts.  One positive thought will counteract a number of negative thoughts.

What does all this mean?

It means we can control our thoughts.  If we can do that, we control all the energy waves that emanate from us, and we control the energy that is returned to us.

This is such a simple, yet powerful tool.

Imagine a new colleague joins you at work.  You see this person for the first time and notice her lovely eyes.  That is the first fold in the paper.  Then this person does not introduce herself to you, and her first words are an attack on everyone around her new desk for not clearing the desk drawers before she arrived.  That is the second and most recent fold in the paper.

The person then starts to work at a desk five steps from your own desk.  You still do not know her name.  You have forgotten about her lovely eyes.  You now think of her as “that rude woman at the next desk”.

But is she really rude?  Could it be that she was not so sure of herself, and that she regarded the new desk as a temporary space for a temporary position where she does not really want to be anyway, and that she was in fact voicing her frustration?  Was that why she raised her voice and neglected to introduce herself?  Could it be that it is only my perception that she is rude?  And that thought then becomes the most recent fold in the paper.

When someone then enters the office and ask where Lynne’s desk is, I have no idea who Lynne is.  But if someone points at the desk of the new lady, my first thought is “they mean the rude lady” because that was the most recent thought in the paper of my mind.

I do not think “they mean the new lady with the beautiful eyes”, because that thought has been covered with more recent thoughts, and my mind returns to the most recent thought on the topic.

Then you are away from work for a few days.  When you return, the lady walks into the office, approaches your desk, holds out her hand and says “Hi.  We have not been introduced yet.  My name is Lynne.”  She smiles and you think “she has lovely eyes”.  That becomes the most recent thought.

To be continued.

If you would like to receive fascinating information on the holidays of various faiths and religions that will not be published on the blog, please subscribe to my email list on the blog.  Please do this even if you already receive blog updates by email, because the email list is a separate list.

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Love and Light
Elsabe


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Living “in the now” is not for pussycats

1st Jan 2009



Hello lovely people

Nowadays people that like to be described as enlightened talk about living in “the now”, as if “the now” is a place.  When you question people about “the now”, you often discover a defeatist, limp sense of powerlessness.  “Just go with the flow”, they would say – you know, like a piece of driftwood in a stream.

I am sorry but being powerless is not an option for me.  I have had too much fun since I started to understand that I create my own destiny and my own future.

However, I do understand that the way I feel determines my thoughts and my actions.  It is also important to use every moment, even if you use it to relax.

There is a big advertisement outside one of the terminals at Heathrow airport.  I cannot remember the product, but the wording is something like “What time is it?  The time is now – anywhere in the world.”  The ad and the idea behind it catch my eye every time.  Don’t worry about what your watch says.  Look around you and enjoy where you are and what you have.

The opposite of experiencing now is to focus either on the past (and all the guilt that you carry around with you) or the future (with all the fears about things that have not even happened yet).  Neither sound attractive to me.

I found a classic description of this attitude in one of these emails that people like to circulate.  Apologies to the author, whose name got lost in circulation.  And I intend to spend the New Year like a dog!

DOG DIARY

07:00 am – Dog food! My favourite thing!
08:30 am – A car ride! My favourite thing!
08:40 am – A walk in the park! My favourite thing!
09:30 am – Got rubbed and petted! My favourite thing!
11:30 pm – Lunch! My favourite thing!
12:00 pm – Played in the yard! My favourite thing!
14:00 pm – Wagged my tail! My favourite thing!
15:00 pm – Schmackos! My favourite thing!
16:00 pm – Got to play ball! My favourite thing!
18:00 pm – Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favourite thing!
21:00 pm – Sleeping on the bed! My favourite thing!

CAT DIARY

Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.

Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of.  However, they merely made condescending comments about what a ‘good little hunter’ I am. Bastards!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of ‘allergies.’ I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

This morning I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow — but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here a re flunkies and snitches.

The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released – and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe.

For now…

Cat

If you would like to receive fascinating information on the holidays of various faiths and religions that will not be published on the blog, please subscribe to my email list on the blog.  Please do this even if you already receive blog updates by email, because the email list is a separate list.

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Love and Light
Elsabe


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