I am not sorry about your loss

18th Mar 2008

Hello lovely people

When a person dies we go through a stage of grieving.  What is that grief, and what are we sad about?

Assume that we do believe in eternal life.  That means when a person dies, they leave their body behind and continue to live in a different form – a form that some of as recognize as the person’s ethereal body.   This happens because we are energy, and energy cannot be destroyed.

If the person continues to exist, but only in a different form, why do we get so sad about somebody dying?  What exactly is it that we lose?

Death reminds us of our own mortality, and when we have unfinished business here, we feel pressure to get on with our own business.  If we do not understand that we have all the time that is required to fulfill our purpose here, we will be sad.

Death also means that we will experience our relationship with the deceased person in a different way.  We will no longer be able to talk to the person (or ignore the person if that is what we did when they were still alive).  Thoughts of that person will fill our minds.  Sometimes we will have loving conversations with the person, and at other times we will have nightmares about the person.

People come to this earth and inhabit their bodies because they have a purpose.  They have specific lessons to learn, and to teach to others.  All of us are here to learn and to teach.

When we no longer have anything to learn, the time comes when we leave our bodies behind.  We can still continue to teach others even after we had left our bodies.  We do that by means of those conversations in our minds.

Once a person has left their body behind, they are in a state of Love, regardless of the nature of the earthly lives they had lived.  That is why we have such loving experiences with our deceased loved ones. 

But what if we have these nightmares and fears that continue after the person has passed on?  If we do not understand this change, namely that the deceased person is in a state of Love, we continue to hold on to our own fears until we are able to resolve them.

Grieving is also about loss.  We believe that once a person has passed on, we have lost everything we had with that person.  We believe that we have lost a loving look, memories of good times together, and all the other things we wanted to hold on to.

This might sound strange, but death is not about loss, because we never lose anything.  The Universe is in complete balance.  We keep everything for ever, and we need to find those things elsewhere.  For example, after many years of marriage you lose the companionship of a loving partner.  At the same time a friend supports you and a rich friendship takes the place of that companionship.  Or you become more spiritually aware and continue the relationship with your partner, but in a spiritual way.

If death is not about loss, what is it about?  Death is about re-assessing what we have, and about finding the balance again in a perfect Universe.  The balance is there.  When a person departs, we temporarily forget about the balance.  We cry because we experience a sense of loss.  Over time we regain our balance and we understand that we have lost nothing.

This applies to all losses and all grieving.  Do you grieve about the loss of a friend?  Did you as a result of the loss of the friendship gain new friends, which restored the balance?  Do you grieve about the loss of a child?  Have you, as a result of that, found other people to care for, maybe people who also lost children?

But some of you say no, this is not true for me.  I have felt the pain of that loss and it will remain with me forever.  That is your choice.  If you want to spend the rest of your life here cherishing the loss, you can do that.  If you want to find out how the balance in your life has been restored, it will become clear to you very quickly.

When you are able and willing to understand what it is that you have lost and gained, you can move on and find that inner peace.  When you choose to define yourself for the rest of your life in terms of your loss, the rest of your life will be off balance.  The world will move on regardless of how you define yourself, and you are part of the world.  Do you really want to live the rest of your life mourning something that you have not lost?

Read an extract from See my Badge, a short story that illustrates how a loss is transformed into a gain, so that the balance is restored.

If you would like to leave a comment on the website, click on Comments at the bottom of any entry.  Alternatively, if you receive this by email, click here. Then click on Comments at the bottom of the entry. A block will open where you can leave a much appreciated comment.

Love and Light

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Become your own spiritual scriptwriter

16th Mar 2008

Hello lovely people

Why is it that we get so involved in our own lives that we stop losing focus?  Yes, we should be involved in our own lives, because they are our lives. 

But at the same time we are actors on a stage called life.  We have the option of simply following the script without questioning.  Anyone can do that – even people who cannot read, can simply memorize the script and regurgitate the lines without getting too involved.

I heard on the radio yesterday about this actor who fell asleep on the stage during a live play.  He had been working very long hours on a part-time job, and was quite tired every evening when he went on stage. In his defense, he played the role of a mummy and the requirement was that he had to lie still for ten minutes, and it was the last show of the season.

If we do not learn the skill of detachment, we go through life like that mummy.  We do what is expected of us, we say the right things and follow the script, and nothing more.  And if anything goes wrong, we blame the Script Writer, who placed us here.  Or if we are among those people that fear God, we will be too afraid to blame God, and find other people to blame for the way our life play goes

But that does not put us in charge of our life scripts.

If we want to stage the best play ever, we need to learn the skill of detachment.  That means that we need to become spectators in our lives as well.  We need to look at our lives from a distance, and identify the areas where we can bring in refinements, so that the play can become more enjoyable.

How do we do that?  Is it possible to be an actor as well as a script writer?  Is it possible to be a player as well as a referee? Yes, it is.

We manage to do that when we first think back and remember how we responded to particular situations.  For example, if you work with a bully, what is your natural response to the bully?  Let’s for the moment assume that when you are in the presence of this bully you feel insignificant, powerless, unworthy and vulnerable.

When the bully picks on you because you are an easy victim, what do you do?  You cringe and either get out of the way quickly while you hear the laugh of the bully in your ears, or you try your best to please the bully but never succeed, and the bully laughs that victorious laugh anyway.   If you are only an actor, you do this time and again, and your self-worth is chipped away little by little.

However, if you want to become a script writer so that you can be a better actor, you take some time out, take a step back and realize how you routinely respond to the situation.

If you do this regularly enough, you become aware of how you respond, and you grow dissatisfied with that response.  You also become aware of who you really are and slowly start to think of alternative behavior that will reinforce who you really are.

Then the bully slowly becomes more aware that you are no longer quite playing the game.  Yes, you still cringe away, but you become less and less convincing, and that takes away the satisfaction of the bully.  On the day when you can look this person in the eye and respond to the bullying behavior in a way that confirms your view of yourself, the bully will know that it is time to move on, because the job is done.

That will give you the satisfaction of knowing that you are still following the script, and that you are now the co-author of the script.

This approach of detaching from situations, becoming aware of who you are and changing your behavior accordingly, allows you to grow more comfortable with who you really are and to define who you are not.  This is the way to finding an inner peace that guides your life script. 

Even when you are on the stage of your life all the time, for example in a relationship where certain behavior patterns have been established, it is possible to find this quiet time to get in touch with your own script writer.  You do not need a routine or a fixed amount of time every day.   All you need is an awareness of the need to detach from your daily environment and become a fly on the wall of your stage for a few minutes a day.

That is how you will qualify to become the Oscar-winning actor and script writer of your own life.

Read an extract from See my Badge, a short story that illustrates how we make decisions that determine our lives.

If you would like to leave a comment on the website, click on Comments at the bottom of any entry.  Alternatively, if you receive this by email, click here. Then click on Comments at the bottom of the entry. A block will open where you can leave a much appreciated comment.

Love and Light

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The blueprint of life

13th Mar 2008

Hello lovely people

Why are we here? What is our purpose? If heaven, wherever it is, is so much better than earth, as religious people like to tell you, why do we bother coming to earth?

Is there such a thing as eternal life? If so, how does it fit in with life here and now? And what if eternal life is a myth? Does this mean that this life is our only shot at . . . what?

I was brought up in a Christian culture where eternal life is a given, never to be questioned or discussed. Life after death is also a given, and utopia that we all should aim at, because the life after death salvages us from the horrors of our existence here. As a result the Afrikaans culture has one of the highest levels of family murders in the world. The head of the family, namely the husband (without question) is expected to be a kind of superman, mister know-it-all, financial provider, macho lover, pious church man, world’s best father.

Failure in public areas, especially financially, is judged publicly. Failure in more private areas such as dysfunctional relationships often result in domestic violence, which is not discussed, because that also implies that the wife fails to keep the husband happy.

Let us take a step back and look at the bigger picture.

Assume that eternal life is a reality, a continuum that spans our lives here, the present, as well as any past and future lives. This resonates with me, i.e. it feels right for me to believe this.

If you find it difficult to accept the idea of eternal life and want to stop reading here, that is quite OK. All I can say to you is: live every day as if it is your last day, and grab every opportunity that comes your way.

But for the rest of us, let’s assume that eternal life is a reality. They I would make sense that most of us have had past lives, and will probably have lives in future, after this one.

If we had had other lives, it would explain things like child prodigies, moments of déjà vu, and even the evolution of mankind. That could be an explanation for the dramatic progress in science, quality of life, and, sadly, also destruction of the earth, in the past 150 years.

If we had previous lives, so did other people, including ghosts. Then it would make sense that we have the ability to communicate with the dead.

Why, then, are we here, when we can be elsewhere, in a supposedly much happier dimension?

We are here because each one of us, even beggars and murderers, has a life purpose.

Our lives are planned in detail before we even enter this world. We choose our parents and siblings. We choose the main theme of our lives, and the main players such as our spouses, children and even work colleagues.

We enter into a contract with these people, and they incarnate with us, and help us to live our purpose. That is the blueprint of life. It is written up in the akashic records, which are stored in the Hall of Records in another dimension.

The akashic records can loosely be defined as a collection of mystical knowledge encoded in a non-physical plane of existence. These records apparently contain all knowledge, including all human experience, of the history of the Universe. These records are described as a kind of mystical library that is updated all the time.

You can read more about our blueprints and the Hall of Records in the book Life on the Other Side by Sylvia Browne. This is an excellent book that describes in detail the dimension that we return to after death.

Each one of us has a purpose, and we become aware of that purpose in many ways. Sometimes we have a passion that rules our lives, and this can be seen in people that are passionate about their careers, such as teachers, entrepreneurs, in fact, people in just about any job, where they stand out because they put their hearts and minds into the job.

Other people chose a particular lifestyle, such as being a dedicated parent. Others may have a hobby that they attach far more value to than any job. Some people have chosen lives that allow them to deal with issues such as violence (by or against themselves), gender, faith, disability and so on. These themes run through our lives.

We often do not realise or understand that there are themes that we have chosen for our lives. The more challenging our lives, the more we tend to pity ourselves for our struggles. And the more challenging other people’s lives, the more we tend to judge then for failing to have a wonderful life.

But we forget to take a step back and acknowledge the blueprint that we agreed to for this existence.

We also forget that we can change the blueprint by learning from our experiences, and then spending out remaining time here with less challenges.

We also forget to acknowledge the contributions of those people who live their passions.

Why not find a calm moment and reflect on the themes that run through your life? Once you have identified the themes, you can focus on those that give you joy, and make peace with the parts of you that challenge you, and have a more fulfilling life, living out your own blueprint.

Read an extract from See my Badge, a short story that illustrates how a blueprint can run experiences in our lives.

If you would like to leave a comment on the website, click on Comments at the bottom of any entry. Alternatively, if you receive this by email, click here. Then click on Comments at the bottom of the entry. A block will open where you can leave a much appreciated comment.

Love and Light

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You can run, but you cannot hide

10th Mar 2008

Hello lovely people

We like to flippantly refer to good karma and bad karma, but is there any truth in karma?  What is karma?  Can I change my karma?

My search for answers to these questions has provided me with interesting information.  For example, I have always thought of karma as Buddhism or something that is unique to Buddhism.  Since I am not an expert on this philosophy, I have kind of left it there.

But important things tend to come back to us time and again (karma?), and my curiosity was stimulated to the extent that I did some reading about Buddhism and karma.  And guess what?  I discovered that the same concept is expressed in many diverse sources, including Buddhist texts. 

The Buddha said “I am the owner of my karma . I inherit my karma. I am born of my karma. I am related to my karma. I live supported by my karma. Whatever karma I create, whether good or evil, that I shall inherit.”

There is also the Golden Rule where Confucius argues that the central principle of ethics is to do what you would want to have done to yourself:  ‘”Tzu-kung asked, “Is there one word which may serve as a rule of practice for all one’s life?” The Master said, “Is not reciprocity such a word? What you do not want done to yourself, do not do to others.”‘

The Bible carries the same message in verses such as “All things whatsoever you would that men should do to you, do even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets.” (Matthew 7:12) and “Cast your bread upon the waters, for after many days you will find it again” (Eccl 1-1) and “A person reaps what he sows” (Gal. 6:7)

Kahlil Gibran says “The selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.”

There is even scientific proof of this in Newton’s Third law, which states that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.

So how do we make sense of all this in our daily lives?  How do we ward off bad karma and attract good karma?
The answer seems fairly simple. 

I found this anonymous quote:
Watch your thoughts, for they become words.
Watch your words, for they become actions.
Watch your actions, for they become habits.
Watch your habits, for they become character.
Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.

So that is fairly easy.  All we need to do is watch our thoughts, and the rest will fall into place.  Yea, right.  We all know that is not so easy – especially when we have anywhere between 33 and 38 thoughts per minute.  And those of us who have done meditation know how must effort is required to clear our minds.  Even then, we are aware that our minds are clear for a split second, and that in itself is a thought, isn’t it?

Are there other ways to change our karma?

Buddhism refers to the four powers of purification. The first one is to always think of any sentient beings that we may have hurt, so that we can develop our own compassion.  The next power is to recognise our past actions that were unwise.  There is no need to beat ourselves up about anything we have done – that is water under the bridge.  It is far more important to simply acknowledge our actions, and once we are aware of these actions, to honestly promise not to repeat these actions again.  This is a promise to yourself, and therefore far more serious than a promise to the rest of the world.  It is also far more powerful than to be told by someone that you should not do something again, because you come to this realisation yourself. The fourth power is practise.  This relates to repeating anything that helps you in your resolve to not repeat unwise actions.

Dr John Demartini tells the story of how he spent much time as a young boy weeding an area in the garden, and thinking that he was doing something good.  One day a neighbour told him that he will spend the rest of his life weeding the garden if he does not plant flowers in the garden as well.

When things happen to us that we do not enjoy, we can throw our hands in the air and say that is bad karma and therefore inescapable, and do nothing more.  If we understand that, as Newton’s law says, for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction, we can use the opportunity to counteract the karma from previous lives that we do not enjoy.  That to me seems to be the way to restore the balance.  Rather than passively accepting less enjoyable experiences, we need to understand that we have to achieve balance in our lives by creating joy for ourselves.

We may not see the results immediately, because this balance seems to cover more than one life.  This is where we just have to trust and focus on actions that can only bring good karma.

But what if we do not believe in re-incarnation, and we focus on this life as the only one?  Well, what damage can be done if you spend this life focusing on actions that can only bring good karma?  It has got to come back to you as a good experience.

Confucius, Jesus, Khalil Gibran, the Buddha and Isaac Newton each said in their own unique way that whatever you do, you do in the first place to yourself. 

I have to remind myself of this the next time I read in the newspaper about some brilliant political scheme that can only fail, and not get irritated, but rather find my own way of making the world a better place.

Read an extract from Red, a short story that illustrates how karma influences our lives.

If you would like to leave a comment on the website, click on Comments at the bottom of any entry.  Alternatively, if you receive this by email, click here. Then click on Comments at the bottom of the entry. A block will open where you can leave a much appreciated comment.

Love and Light

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How can you do this to me?

8th Mar 2008

Hello lovely people

Some people are real suckers for punishment.  Like those women that keep going back to partners that abuse them physically and verbally.  And there are men as well that stay with abusive partners, or people that stay in jobs or in friendships where they are bullied.

No, I am not judging them.  I also have a lot of empathy for them, because it took me years to shake off two abusive relationships, many destructive work environments and some feel-bad friendships, even after I had recognized what was happening.  I was also a sucker for punishment. 

In this case there is more truth in that expression “sucker for punishment“ than we may realize. 

We are all One and part of the same perfect diamond that is called God – or any other name that you know Him/Her by.  All of us are required to form this perfect diamond, and the diamond would be flawed if any one of us is different or missing.  Abusers also form part of the same diamond, and they are also part of our Oneness.

When we are in any type of relationship with a person, we have an additional bond with that person – over and above the one we have with all humanity.  Imagine that bond to be like a very strong silver cord that ties two people together.  That cord exists between the abuser and the abused, just like it exists between two married people that have been in a happy relationship for forty or more years. 

We enter into relationships because we know intuitively that we need the other person to learn important things about ourselves, and to help us get a balance in ourselves that we would otherwise miss.

Why would anyone willingly enter into an abusive relationship?  Even when people close to you warn you of what they can see but you cannot?  And why would anyone stay in that relationship even when their physical and emotional safety is on line?

Because we are suckers for punishment.  That silver cord is firmly in place, and it literally sucks us back to the other person until we either realize that we no longer need them and move on, or until there is an incident that weighs more than the pull from that cord, for example when our lives are threatened.

All the time while the cord is in place and we stay in an abusive relationship, we hand our own personal power over to the other person.  That cord is based in the solar plexus chakra, where our will power is seated. 

When the solar plexus chakra is open and healthy, we understand that we are in charge of our own lives and that we can make our own decisions.  We then contribute to a relationship in equal measures, and we understand that we are in the first place individuals, and in the second place part of a relationship.

When the solar plexus chakra is blocked and not healthy, we often believe that we are powerless and that we just have to suffer the punishment that is meted out to us by our partners – or even by work colleagues or other family members that abuse us.  The silver cord ties us to those people as well and not just to partners in a love relationship.

That is why people tend to stay in an abusive relationship for long times, and why they often go back even when they do get the courage to move out.  They are pulled back by this cord that ties them to the abuser, because physical distance from an abuser does not change the belief that they are powerless.  Physical distance does not stop them handing their power over to the abuser, because physical distance is a man-made concept and not real.  That silver cord is real.

Once the change happens in the person and he/she starts to understand that they have a personal power and they take that power back, the solar plexus chakra starts to function normally.  Then the person gets the courage to leave the relationship.  This could mean getting a divorce, changing jobs if the abuser is a work colleague, or breaking off ties – yes, that is literally what happens – with an abusive friend or family member.

Sometimes that realization of having personal power takes a very long time, and we are forcibly removed from the situation, for example we face the wrong end of a fire-arm and flee to safety, and that gives us the courage to stay away from the abuser and heal the solar plexus chakra.  Or we get dismissed from a job and discover that we are better off in a different job.  Even then, it could take years to find our balance again. 

The question is: why is this kind of information not available to us when we most need it?  Why is the understanding and the healing not available much earlier?

I suppose that is where our karma comes in – we need the experiences to find a balance with previous experiences.  We choose our lives and our experiences, and at times it is hard to remember that all our experiences and our entire lives are perfect for our purpose in this life.

Read an extract from See my Badge?, a short story that illustrates how we carry destructive relationships with us, even from a previous life.

You can also find details about the solar plexus chakra here.

If you would like to leave a comment on the website, click on Comments at the bottom of any entry.  Alternatively, if you receive this by email, click here. Then click on Comments at the bottom of the entry. A block will open where you can leave a much appreciated comment.

Love and Light

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The solar plexus chakra

8th Mar 2008

Hello lovely people

The solar plexus chakra is in the region below the breastbone and above the navel.  This chakra is our intuitive guide, or gut instinct.  This is where mediums receive their psychic information.

The solar plexus chakra controls the adrenal glands, and releases toxins from the body. It relates to the pancreas, stomach and intestines. 

This is the chakra where a thought becomes an action and we then express the action.  However, if the thought becomes internalised, then the thought becomes inaction and the result is disharmony in the liver and pancreas.

The solar plexus chakra is the centre for deciding the balance of power that relates to our emotional energy.  This is where we decide to use our power, or to give it away to others.  This energy point helps us to define our sense of integrity and personal code of honour.  We use this when you want to achieve an ambition, such as planning a career move.

This chakra is the basis of power that acknowledges differences.  The chakra does not allow for the polarity that was found in the sacral chakra, but finds a new point of balance.  It is used to bridge differences and accomplish wholeness.
When the solar plexus chakra is used in the wrong way, in other words when vortices of energy spin anticlockwise and pull all the energy in towards themselves, the result is selfishness and domination.

The main message from the solar plexus chakra is: Honour yourself.  Only when you can honour yourself, do other people honour you as well.

This chakra emphasises our connection with others.  It is different from the tribe or group mind of the root chakra.  It is also not like the sacral chakra which emphasises partnerships or relationships.  This chakra acknowledges our power to be a unique individual, and at the same time celebrates our connection with all humanity and our relationship with ourselves.

The colour that is associated with the solar plexus chakra is yellow, which brings clarity and awareness. This colour makes the mind active and alert.

The Hindu symbol for this chakra is a lotus with ten petals, containing a downward-pointing triangle surrounded by three t-shaped swastikas (the Hindu symbols of fire).  Refer to this website  for illustrations of chakras.

Where the solar plexus chakra is too open, the person comes across as being angry, controlling and judgmental.  The person is often a workaholic.

Where the solar plexus chakra is blocked, the person tends to be overly concerned with what others think, insecure and afraid of being alone.  Such a person cannot feel their own energy coming from their heart, and draws energy from those around them.  They come across as having a desperate need to be loved, and need constant reassurance.

Where the solar plexus chakra is balanced, the person respects themselves and others.  They are spontaneous and uninhibited, and understand that they have personal power.

There are two archetypes (refer Carl Jung’s book The Archetypes and the Collective Unconscious) with the solar plexus chakra.  The Spiritual Warrior has an open solar plexus chakra.  This person acts instinctively in interaction with others, with no hidden agenda, and always from a position of equality and with integrity.  They know to go inside to make sense of their circumstances, and to find meaning.

The opposite archetype, where the solar plexus chakra is out of balance, is the Drudge.  This person would struggle to acknowledge and reward themselves.  They tend to be submissive and dependent on others.  They think of themselves as being lovable in terms of what they do, not who they are.  Because they do not believe in themselves, they have this constant thought of “I am not worthy” and they willingly hand over the responsibility for their happiness or unhappiness to others.  Such people tend to get involved with dominant partners at home or at work.  When these partners are violent and abusive, the victims find it easy to convince themselves that their behaviour is the cause of the partner’s behaviour.

The Book of Chakra Healing  provides beautiful detailed descriptions of the seven main chakras.
Read this extract from See my badge?,  a short story that illustrates how the solar plexus chakra can influence our lives.

If you would like to leave a comment on the website, click on Comments at the bottom of any entry.  Alternatively, if you receive this by email, click here. Then click on Comments at the bottom of the entry. A block will open where you can leave a much appreciated comment.

Love and Light



I now declare you . . .

6th Mar 2008

Hello lovely people

Why is it that so many relationships and marriages break up because of what one partner does or does not do?  And even more puzzling: why is it that the same culprit gets into another relationship and becomes the perfect partner to a very happy person?  Do people suddenly change their nature overnight?

And another puzzle:  why is it that some people seem just unlucky in relationships?  Serial spouses and celebrities with a string of broken relationships always make a good read in the popular magazines.

Maybe we need to look at these ‘wrong’ relationships with the ‘wrong’ people from a different angle.

What if these broken marriages and relationships are not ‘wrong’ choices?  What if each one of them is a perfect choice, but we fail to see that, and judge ourselves as failures? 

Let’s take a step back and work from the assumption that we incarnated into this world because we have particular things to learn about ourselves.  We have forgotten the reason why we are here:  to live a life that will bring us closer to perfection and to the God that we were separated from.

We have become caught up in man-made and culture-based rules such as that people must be in a relationship for life, or that once married, divorce is a failure.

We have forgotten that our lives are pre-planned before we are born, and that we come here to live a perfectly designed script.

Am I saying that it is OK to flit from one relationship or marriage to another?  Is it all right to have multiple partners throughout your life?

Maybe it is.  What if your particular life script was designed so that you learn about yourself from having different relationships?  And what if someone else’s life script was designed so that they learn different lessons from the same partner over a much longer period of time?

We have been conditioned to focus on the ‘failures’ of relationships, rather than on the purpose of a relationship that has come to an end.

Because of this focus on ‘failure’, we do not allow ourselves or others the space to contemplate on what we have learnt from the relationship.

It is far easier to show interest in the gossip-worthy history of someone who ‘failed’ than to ask what they have learnt from the relationship about themselves. 

We prefer to ask why the relationship has come to an end, and the reason behind the question is often to assign blame or to exonerate oneself.  Our legal systems, religions and cultures have been designed to reinforce this issue of blaming others rather than understanding self.

Some people come out of a relationship, have clarity on what they want, and find the ‘perfect’ mate.  They live happily ever after, but they have other lessons to learn, for example from colleagues at work or from their children.

Other people come out of a relationship, refuse to do any introspection, and repeat the same pattern in subsequent relationships.  And rather than encourage them to look at themselves in a loving way and become whole, we comment on their inability to have a stable relationship.  That makes us as ‘guilty’ as they are.  But we are all guilty of lacking insight, of nothing else.

We often see people being desperately unhappy in a relationship, but staying in it at all costs, and often against the advice of those that care about them.  They stay because they are afraid of being out of the relationship and by themselves, or in some cultures because of the social judgement that they will face when they leave, or more often because they simply have no understanding of what it is that they need to deal with before they can leave the relationship.

Whatever the reason for remaining in a destructive relationship or for having the same kind of relationship with different people over and over again, the bottom-line is that we need to understand the dynamic between the people in the relationship, and what there is to be learnt from it. 

The important issue is not the destination, i.e. the end of the relationship, but rather the journey, i.e. the spiritual reason why we got involved in a particular relationship in the first place.  Only then can we learn about ourselves and find peace and put the relationship behind us, with gratitude and love towards the person who helped us learn about ourselves, rather than with all the destructive feelings that we have learnt to associate with the end of a relationship.

Read an extract from See my Badge, a short story that illustrates how relationships, even those that we experience as destructive, teach us much about ourselves and bring us closer to God.

If you would like to leave a comment on the website, click on No Comments at the bottom of any entry.  Alternatively, if you receive this by email, go to www.mypurpleblog.com. Then click on No Comments at the bottom of the entry. A block will open where you can leave a much appreciated comment.

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Extract from See my badge?

6th Mar 2008

First there were just looks, and both pretended not to see the other.  Then they started exchanging notes.  Anna remembered how difficult it was to write those notes, and she smiled.  How she agonized over the words.  What to write, what not to write, and rewriting it again and again.

Then, those first tentative, tender touches.

How did it grow from such innocence into such unbearable agony?

Many scenes flashed before her eyes.  She had sat up late, waiting.  If she had gone to sleep, there would be a scene because she was not waiting and not caring.  If she waited, there would be a scene because she was waiting and not trusting.  Until one night when she waited.  And waited.  She waited until the day broke, and she was still awake when there was a knock on the door.

She welcomed the knock.  At least the knock meant strangers.  No scene.  No recriminations.  No violence.  Just news.

Not good news.  How could it be good news to hear you will now be alone?

Not bad news.  How could it be bad news to know the violence had stopped?

Just news.  Dull news.

People moving in and out of her vision.  People saying words they did not mean, because they did not know what they meant, and therefore could not say it.

Read the whole story in A Tapestry of Life, a collection of short stories about moments that changed people’s lives.  The book can also be obtained from Trafford Publishing.



What you see is not what you get

4th Mar 2008

Hello lovely people

Have you ever heard the expression “What you see is what you get”? What if what you see only gets you into trouble, because it is not what you get?

I have a favourite website called Effortless Prosperity which I visit every day. There is a Lesson of the day section that I find quite thought-provoking.

This message made me sit up and think: “Everything that I see happening around me has a meaning that I have given to it. When I am willing to let go of thinking that I know the real meaning, I notice that it is much different from what I thought it was. Today I realize and understand that the meaning I give to anything has nothing to do with its real purpose. I do not know the real meaning of what I see.”

We like to react emotionally and jump to conclusions, often regardless of the facts. Even when we do know the facts, we associate with the facts from our own perspective and do not bother getting the other side of the story, because our own versions are usually right.

Here is a Welsh folk tale that shows the danger of acting in haste and not confirming the other side of a story.

Prince Llywelyn of Gwynedd was given a large grey Irish wolfhound as a present from his father-in-law, King John of England. This hound, which he named Gelert, became his favourite, and accompanied him on all his hunting trips. One morning Prince Llywelyn went on a hunting trip to the mountains of Eryri, or Snowdonia in Wales. He called and called, but Gelert was nowhere to be seen. No matter how many times the hunting horn was blown, Gelert was nowhere to be found.

Prince Llywelyn was unhappy about this because Gelert was the fastest and bravest of all the hounds, and they both enjoyed the hunting. But Prince Llywelyn and his men did not want to wait, and set off from the hunting lodge without Gelert. It was not a good day, and Prince Llywelyn and his men returned earlier than usual.

While the servants stabled the horses, Prince Llywelyn went back to the hunting lodge. He found the door partly open, and the house was dead quiet, which was unusual. An ice-cold hand gripped his heart when he realised that his young son had been left in a cradle upstairs that morning with the servants.

Prince Llywelyn rushed up the stairs and found that everything was overturned and smashed. The maidservants were nowhere to be seen and there was blood everywhere. The cradle was lying on its side, empty. Gelert was lying on the floor, his jaws covered in blood and wagging his tail.

Prince Llewelyn was blind with fury at the betrayal of his favourite hound that had killed the baby boy, and his only thought was of revenge. He drew his sword and violently stabbed Gelert in the heart.

Gelert gave a low moan, but did not move, and then fell sideways, dead.

There was an answering cry from a pile of rags in the corner of the room. Prince Llewelyn looked under the rags and there was his baby boy, safe and sound. Gelert had defended the baby against intruders, and paid with his life.

In memory of his faithful dog, Llywelyn had a grave dug for him, outside his lodge, and erected a carved stone to mark the spot. The village which later grew up nearby was called after this, Beddgelert, the Grave of Gelert.

This story is only a few hundred years old. There is an even older Mongolian version that describes a king who went out hunting with his hawk. One day the king was tired and thirsty, and sat down next to a spring to have a drink.

The king filled his cup with the clear spring water, but before he could drink it, his hawk knocked over the cup with his wings, spilling the water on the ground. The king swore at the bird, and refilled the cup with spring water. Again, the hawk knocked over the cup, and the king cuffed the bird out of the way. The king filled the cup a third time, holding tightly onto it, but the hawk dug his talons into the king’s wrist to make him drop it. The king lost his temper, drew his sword and cut off the hawk’s head.

When the king picked up the cup again, he looked up and noticed a snake sitting on the rock above the spring, dripping its venom down into the spring water. The hawk had been protecting the king.

These two stories confirm that having a knee-jerk reaction to situations, followed up by false accusations and hasty actions that we regret later on, are as old as our memories.

Remember this: I do not know the real meaning of what I see.

Read an extract from Red, a short story that illustrates how we do not understand the real meaning of anything at first glance.

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Love and Light

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The Base or Root Chakra

2nd Mar 2008

Hello lovely people

The base or root chakra can be found at the base of the spine and is the simplest of the seven major chakras.  This is the point where we draw up energy from the Earth and into our bodies.  It is sometimes called the chakra of the earth, because it keeps us grounded.  We are grounded when we have both feet on the ground, i.e. a solid basis and stability.

The base chakra stores kundalini energy (psycho-spiritual energy that is sleeping within the body) in a coiled state of readiness. 

This chakra is the basis of our physical strength and sense of taste and smell.  It also controls our survival instinct, pleasure and sexuality.  The base chakra governs our adrenal glands, excretory system, and all other glands at the base of the spine.  These glands are known to affect our personalities.  This chakra also governs all that is solid in our bodies i.e. bones, teeth, nails, and hair.

The base chakra is associated with the colour red, which represents physical energy, passion, courage, power, will, desire.  This colour also represents the physical and emotional needs of survival and self preservation.

The Hindu symbol for the base chakra is four lotus petals around a square that contains a downward-pointing triangle.  Refer here  for illustrations of chakras.

Carl Jung, in his book The Archetypes and the Collective Unconscious,  describes various archetypes of the soul.  There are two archetypes that are associated with this chakra.  Archetypes can be defined as characters, images, plot patterns, rituals, and settings that are shared by diverse cultures. Archetypes are part of humanity’s “collective unconscious” and they appear in literature, myth, folklore, and rituals from a wide range of cultures. They also manifest themselves in the subconscious thoughts and dreams of people.

The first of these archetypes are the Earth Mother.  Both males and females can display the behaviour that shows this archetype.  The people that display this type of behaviour acknowledge that they are capable of providing all the physical and emotional security they need for themselves.

The second archetype is that of the Victim.  The person that displays this behaviour likes to blame others for their problems.  They tend to be vulnerable, needy and ungrounded.  Typical victims regard disappointment, separation and loss as something that they cannot control or change.

Where the base chakra is imbalanced, the person can display various symptoms of “shortage” namely anorexia, exhaustion, low blood pressure, and also symptoms of “resistance”, namely arthritis, constipation and obesity.

Where the chakra is too open, it spins too fast.  Typical behaviour of a too open base chakra is bullying, being overly materialistic and being self-centred.  If the base chakra is over-stimulated, the result is exhaustion.

Where the base chakra is blocked, it spins too slow or not at all.  They symptoms of a blocked base chakra are a fearful, emotionally needy person that has low self-esteem.

If the base chakra is not stimulated, the result is inertia, i.e. the person resists change.

When the base chakra is balanced, the person is grounded and healthy, and has a high level of physical energy.

There are ways to keep the base chakra balanced.  Two methods that apply to everyone are regular exercise, and avoiding over-indulgence.

A person that displays the Earth Mother archetype (where the root chakra is open) has a need to attend to their inner child by using their imagination, and finding time to play.  They need to keep their home safe and comforting, pamper themselves from time to time, and believe that they have their own worth.

A person that displays the opposite Victim archetype (where the root chakra is closed) needs to work on understanding that they have the power to provide everything they need for themselves.  They need to take responsibility for their own lives and acknowledge that they have choices and deserve the best.

Read this extract from a short story that illustrates how the root chakra can influence our lives.

If you would like to leave a comment on the website, click on No Comments at the bottom of any entry.  Alternatively, if you receive this by email, click here.  Then click on Comments at the bottom of the entry. A block will open where you can leave a much appreciated comment.

Love and Light

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